OpenAI Can't Pay Its Bills. The S&P Fell. Iran Said There Are No Meetings Planned.

WSJ: OpenAI's CFO worried it can't fund its computing contracts. WTI crossed $100. Iran said no meetings. Tomorrow: FOMC plus four Mag 7 earnings.

📊 THE MARKET BREAKDOWN

Satirical daily market intelligence for traders who think in systems, not headlines.

Issue #223 | April 28, 2026