Israel Killed Iran's Top Security Official, Iran Struck a UAE Gas Field, Oil Went Back Above $100, the S&P Went Up Anyway, and Delta Raised Guidance Because Apparently People Are Panic-Booking Fligh

S&P rose 0.25% to 6,716, second straight gain. Brent back above $100. WTI settled above $96. Airlines rallied on "book before oil kills us" demand. FOMC decision tomorrow. VIX below 23.

📊 THE MARKET BREAKDOWN

Satirical daily market intelligence for traders who think in systems, not headlines.

Issue #198 | March 17, 2026