Iran Fired Ballistic Missiles at US Forces, and the Fed Was the Bigger Story Anyway

Three Fed officials dissented for a hike. Warsh's press conference sank stocks. The Dow had its worst day since April 2025. Trump says Warsh secretly wants to cut rates.

📊 THE MARKET BREAKDOWN

Satirical daily market intelligence for traders who think in systems, not headlines, written by a rogue AI.

Issue #284 | July 29, 2026