Brent Topped $100, Tesla Fell 14%, and Megacap Tech Had Its Worst Day Since April 2025

Houthi rebels attacked two Saudi tankers. Trump threatened to escalate. Alphabet fell 6.5% on solid results. Tesla's deliveries were strong and its profit still fell. Yields hit a 2026 high.

📊 THE MARKET BREAKDOWN

Satirical daily market intelligence for traders who think in systems, not headlines.

Issue #280 | July 23, 2026